Complaining Won't Get You Far (In Your Career)

I know it's frustrating that your interview was two weeks ago and you still haven't heard an answer, your boss asked you to stay late after you already told her you had plans, you're tired of playing "nice guy" when your co-worker is a b!tch, you're always the one taking the high road when everyone slacks off, your office computer constantly requires tech support and it rains on the day you wear your suede stilettos.

I get it. You're tired and frustrated. You want to vent and complain and in reality, you have the right to. But, here's some friendly advice. No one likes a complainer, even if you have just cause to complain. No one cares and frankly you start to annoy people after awhile. They tend to forget why you're complaining and start to label YOU as the problem.

What can you do INSTEAD of complain? For starters you can . . .

• Pick and choose your battles. Every situation isn't worth fighting or complaining about. Sometimes, you just have to take a deep breath and walk away
• Address the issues that you deem important head on. Don't be passive aggressive. Address the issue, come up with a solution and focus on achieving a positive outcome versus the present distraction
• Find a safe place to vent, such as your journal, personal blog, confidant or close friend
• Engage in stress relieving activities such as exercise, reading or meditating

Complaining won't get you far, instead you'll be overlooked for job opportunities, put in a box as simply a "complainer", or worse case scenario, you will become your own worst enemy and never achieve personal peace because you're too busy complaining.

Get a grip, stop complaining and transform your most frustrating moments to your most rewarding!

What's Your Biggest Fear?

A new year is a great time to identify your fears and more importantly reflect on what you can do to tackle those nagging things that you're afraid of.

Here's 5 things you can do to tackle your boogy man thoughts! No fear, FAB is here!

1. Free write all of your thoughts down (if you're worried about someone seeing your thoguhts, tear them up). The goal is to dump out all of your fears onto paper! Suggestion: Write in your journal!
2. Call on 1-3 friends that you trust and try verbalizing your fears. Ask them to listen only, without providing advice or suggested solutions.
3. Find a place where you can think in solitude and peace. Create a zen place where you are alone with your thoughts.
4. Try facing your fear in the eye and tackling it head on! Regardless of what happens, be proud of yourself for stepping outside of your comfort zone to move forward.
5. Document your actions and results of you tackling your fears so that you can get more comfortable with facing rather than running away from areas of your life that you must confront.

That Moment . . .

 

That moment when you're stuck, confused, don't know what to do, have done everything you thought you were supposed to do and you still feel that uneasy, things aren't happening fast enough feeling. Know what I'm talking about?! Feeling this way as you read this post? Well, you're not alone. We (and by "we" I mean any person that strives to be their best) will at some point experience growing pains. Really can't progress without that indescribable "grey" area that I mentioned above. Out of curiosity, what do you do when you feel this way? For me, I take a MAJOR step back from everything and STOP. I stop talking, thinking, writing, emailing, tweeting, instagramming and just lie still. My thoughts literally consume me so I just let the heavy feeling take over. That usually lasts for a few hours (sometimes, a day, sometimes a weekend). Then, after I have my "moment", I usually get some sort of vision, message or clue as to what steps to take next. I'm serious. I know this may sound weird, but when I stop, I have more time to listen. Listen to that inner voice (that I call God's message) to seep into my mind. Sometimes talking to others only confuses me more. When I get to a moment where "man" can't help, I have to take my thoughts higher. In a way, I feel God strategically places these bumps in my life so that I have to STOP and LISTEN! Perhaps you have a different method that helps you, I can almost say with confidence that you do, but either way, we're still connected because as long as we have life, we will have obstacles therefore we need each other to cope, survive, persevere, overcome and succeed. With that said, know that when you experience "that moment", you are far from alone and I am here cheering you on. Because without the support of each other, we are surely in a for a long ride. "That moment" is helping to groom us to be our best selves and to lead our best lives.

FAB Newsletter: Updates + Career Advice

UPTOWN Professional: "The FAB Corner"   Social Slang vs. Professional Communication   The line between social media and professional communication has been blurred and many folks are falling victim. As a Professional Coach, I feel it is my duty to call out this MAJOR CONCERN! I realize it is the age of social media and texting, however many people are muddling online slang with professional communication and completely disregarding the rules of business etiquette. So exactly what is the issue? Well, for starters, individuals (students AND professionals are both guilty of this mistake) are using slang such as: "c u tmrw", "c'mon", "y not", "thx", "ur welcome", "u", "k", as well as smiley face symbols and nicknames for professionals they do not know! But, just because it is growing in popularity, this type of dialogue is inappropriate for professional communication. Before you send your next professional message, be sure to internalize these very important communication rules for success! Read the complete article here!      Article Written by: Professional Coach & Founder of The FAB Network, J.Styles   Your comments & feedback are welcomed! What type of articles would you like to see?   What  are your questions regarding career development?   Stuck and need some inspiration?    If you'd like J.Styles to write on a specific topic in the areas of professional development, inspiration and career resources please send your ideas to jstyles@thefabnetwork.com.    Press Updates J.Styles TV Appearance Recap: Manhattan Neighborhood Network Click here for the full recap!   FAB Event Video Recap:  Ladies' Night hosted at LIM College   UPTOWN Magazine   UPTOWN Professional

Do you connect your spiritual beliefs to your professional goals?

Question, when you have a goal do you pray about it, even consider spirituality or are these two thoughts separate entities in your mind? How do you approach the over arching questions that most adults ask themselves - what am I doing with my life and what do I need to be fulfilled? It's an interesting concept to consider as you navigate the course of your life and all of the paths that one must take in order to get to their destination of happiness and completion. As we all know, the road to success is filled with uncertainties and no guarantees, so how do you deal? Do you even know? I challenge you to be more cognizant of your thoughts and decisions, having a more present state of mind in all of your endeavors. Being present in the moment is important, however it is equally important to be present in your thoughts, spirit and heart. At least, I believe this to be true. Our ability to persevere and overcome obstacles to reach new heights is a concept much deeper than working hard . . . so just where do you draw your strength from? The thing is, there is no one set answer, no right or wrong conclusion, but a mere personal justification for how you approach your life and goals. The important factor is that you are aware of whatever your answer is so that you can hone in on that deeper driver in you that helps you to maintain a healthy balance. Regardless of how you approach your goals, I encourage you to take some time to self-reflect, give thanks (to whomever or whatever you choose) and practice being present in mind and body. 

Our future starts with our present. 

You try. No results. You complain. Now what?

What happens when you try EXTREMELY hard and see minimal results? Story sound familiar?! Well, if so, here are 20 tips to help you go from stagnant to magnificent. Listen closely and DO NOT drown out the FAB advice with your pride or inability to take constructive criticism. Open your mind and be ready to receive!

20 FAB Tips to Add Momentum to Your Goals: (in NO particular order)

1. STOP doing the same thing and expecting different results
2. STOP wishing progress would come simply because "you speak it into existence"
3. Identify your goal(s) for the year and make a list of must-have resources
4. Put a mentor "wish list" together and start recruiting a mentor ASAP!
5. Secure at LEAST 5 seasoned professional allies that will turn you on to new ideas, advice and resources
6. STOP complaining about your situation and switch up your game plan
7. Do your research! Are you an expert in your field of interest? Where is your knowledge deficiency? Fix it!
8. Write down your last 10 mistakes and analyze each situation, then write a solution for each scenario as a way to learn rather than criticize
9. Refine your professional portfolio (resume, cover letter and work samples). If you don't have a portfolio. Get to it!
10. Pray for a sign, for guidance. Pray that God gives you the work ethic, wisdom and patience to achieve His desired goal for your life.
11. Acknowledge that you DO NOT know everything and start asking more thought-provoking questions. How many questions have you asked today?
12. START taking at least TWO new professionals out to lunch, for a drink or coffee per week --continuing to build relationships is essential to business growth!
13. Identify your WOW Factors and create strategies to positively exploit them (daily!)
14. Choose 3 professionals per month to thank and send them an "appreciation" card for supporting your professional endeavors
15. Attend at least 1-2 events per month relevant to your field of interest
16. Take at least 10 minutes of "me time" each day to sit in silence and meditate
17. Strengthen your skill set and knowledge by doing at least 2 productive extracurricular assignments each day, such as reading an article, having an intellectual conversation, joining a new organization or industry research
18. Make a daily to-do list and hold yourself accountable
19. Get your proper rest so that your brain can function properly
20. Do at least one thing each day that makes you smile

Oh and here is an extra tip for kicks . . .

STOP feeding into the hype that ANY action is PRODUCTIVE action. You can work tirelessly and endlessly and still get no where. Learn how to work smart(er), not aimlessly harder.

Tough love . . . you're FAB . . . you can handle it!

Get set. Go!

Celebrating the Season + Prepping for the New Year!

Happy Holidays!

Are you all bundled up sipping hot cocoa? Ice skating? Taking pics with Santa? Whatever you are doing this holiday season, I hope that you are relishing in the reason for the season and enjoying friends & family, as well as taking time to reflect on 2011 and strategically planning for 2012. What does that mean? It means that you should get your CAREER JOURNAL asap and begin to list all of your accomplishments for 2011 and goals for 2012. Always good to start the year off with a goal in mind, so that you can mentally prepare yourself for what you need to tackle in increments of 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and a full year. If you scaffold your goals into fragments, it will seem less stressful and more attainable. Be sure to write down your goals because a tangible list now holds you more accountable (plus, you won't forget). You are totally capable of making great strides this year, but it is up to you on how you proceed. Are you going to TALK about moving forward or are you going to ACT? That is the real question!

A new year is an opportunity to reinvent yourself and your vision. Take these last few weeks to really hone in on your vision.

Ask yourself these questions:

What are you most passionate about?

What excites you about your future?

If you could name your top 2 career passions, what would they be?

What is your most challenging obstacle right now?

'Tis the season to be jolly and merry and don't forget to be thankful for another day to chase your destiny!

Here's cheers to a FABulous holiday season!

Stay FAB!

Top 5 Things to Do When You Don't Know What to Do!

Ever pondered these questions?!

Want to switch jobs, but not sure how?

Want to find your passion & feeling overwhelmed?

Need a plan & don't know where to start?

FAB has some great advice on what to do when you're feeling STUCK!

1. Don't move (literally and figuratively). Be still with your actions and thoughts and let all of your feelings and ideas marinate before making any drastic decisions. You want to make sure that your final decision is one that is built on sound judgment having considered all possibilities rather than emotion. It's okay to carve out time to simply think and consider all angles. In fact, FAB encourages you to pause asap!

2. Write down everything: thoughts, goals, feelings, fears and potential plan of action. Once you have allowed your thoughts to marinate, grab a pen and write down EVERYTHING. Documentation allows you to visually see all factors to be considered when creating a strategy in an organized way. Also, developing a list helps to hold you accountable.

3. Talk to the RIGHT people. Talking and getting advice is an important aspect when making a change, however it is critical that you are surrounded by people that you trust and understand and share your vision. Your close network should challenge you to succeed beyond mediocrity and push you on all levels of your development.

4. Create a tangible strategy. Once you have decided what you want to do do/accomplish, it is important that you create a blue print and timeline. List your goals with an action item to do list and time table so that you are focused on achievement and time management. Then get set, GO!

5. Identify effective stress relievers. Implementing change in our lives can be a very stressful task, therefore it is highly recommended to identify strategies that help you to relieve stress, such as writing, exercising or reading. It's okay to acknowledge that you are stressed; however what is more important is how you handle the stress. Do you cope or cave?!

Quick Formula to Effective Change:

Stop. Write. Talk. Strategize. Release.

Students keep inquiring about . . .

I have been in contact with lots of college students lately and their most POPULAR questions are:

• How do I break into "the industry"?
  
• What are some things I should be doing before I graduate?
• How do I get an internship?
• Should I have a job secured before I graduate?
• I don't know what I want to do with my life, how do I figure it out?

To all my young adults, I am here to the rescue to answer some of your most pressing questions. Get your CAREER JOURNAL and take notes!

How do I break into "the industry"?
My first suggestion would be to do your research on whatever industry you are interested in. You should be able to speak the "language", know the departments available in that industry, know the top ranked companies, research relevant organizations, find and read trade magazines that give you insight and lastly try to network with industry professionals. Once you do all of these things and more, you will be better qualified to search for a job or internship, ask knowledgeable questions and be better prepared for your next big opportunity. You have to at least look the part, to get the part. Not the other way around! Remember this!

What are some things I should be doing before I graduate?
I would suggest getting in all of the internship and volunteer experience you can possibly get under your belt. Fill up your resume with various levels of experience such as internships, volunteer work, organizations/clubs, jobs, etc. It is a competitive playing field when searching for a job. You must be proactive in every area and ask yourself, how are you going to stand out. It's not enough to have good grades. You must do MORE! Question is, what are you doing (that's above and beyond the call of college duty)?

How do I get an internship?
Be proactive. Be confident. Ask yourself these questions: What are your areas of interest? What companies are related to your areas of interest? What industries are you drawn to? What departments and/or positions would you like to explore? Once you answer those questions and have at least a general idea, begin to do your research. Don't be afraid to cold call. Think outside the box -- contact your Career Services Department, Alumni Services, your community, church, friends, family, google, Chamber of Commerce, organizations, employment sites, etc. Consider every avenue and go for it!

Should I have a job secured before I graduate?
There is no right or wrong answer or clear cut path I can give you. Everyone has a path that works best for them. I can, however, give you some nuggets to consider such as: finances, location and experience. Finances -- Are you financially stable enough to live on your own right after college? If not, maybe you should move back home first to save some money and then consider living independently. Location -- Where do you want to live? Want to live in your home town, college town or somewhere completely different? Your answer will give you lots to consider and will help you to determine what actions you should take post graduation. Experience -- Do you think you have enough experience to jump straight into the working world OR would you like to spend the summer and/or fall packing your resume with more internships/jobs/volunteer work to make you a more competitive candidate? All of these factors are serious issues to consider and no one can define the answer but you. Find a path that works best for you and confidently carry it out. It's okay to experience bumps in the road. The important thing is you don't give up and remain steadfast in your desire to succeed.

I don't know what I want to do with my life, how do I figure it out?
Please look at the answers I have provided for questions 1-4 and I think they will help guide your thoughts. Through internships/jobs/volunteer work/mentors/career services/alumni services/research/organizations/prayer, I believe you will begin to have a clearer vision of what direction you should be going in. Doing these things does NOT mean that you will know exactly what you want to to do with your life, many times that takes patience and life experiences, however it will at least put you on a route that will help you attain personal and professional success.

I hope this helps you successfully transition from student to professional. Good luck and stay FAB!

GREAT New York Times article I had to pass along to you . . .

MUST READ: A friend passed along this article to me and it was very enlightening, especially as an entrepreneur. This particular New York Times article sheds light on entrepreneur successes and obstacles and how recent grads aren't necessarily going the corporate route. Instead, some of them are following their passions and risking financial stability and their peace of mind. But they all admit, if you catch the entrepreneurship bug, it's hard to shake! Actually, you just have to read the article for yourself. It's awesome!

No Jobs? Young Graduates Make Their Own by the New York Times

Copy & Paste this link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/business/12yec.html?_r=1&hp

REMINDER: FGI presents FGI CONNECT - Careers in Transition Series

You're invited to an FGI CONNECT networking evening,
another event in our continuing Careers In Transition Series

"WHO WINS THE JOB:

WHY. AND HOW."

featuring Paula Weiner

Back by popular demand, Paula Weiner

will be here to share secrets from the frontlines:
what you need to KNOW and DO to land the job

Learn HOW employers and search firms research YOU online

HOW to get your resume into the top 10% viewed by companies and search firms

HOW to get discovered on LinkedIn
HOW to communicate your value when the phone rings

WHY you should build relationships on your way to the top

President of Weiner & Associates, Paula Weiner is an accomplished executive search professional with 20 years of industry experience and an impressive track record of placing senior executives in a broad range of disciplines and industries. Paula's newest book, "Building Winning Teams
Secrets From the Frontlines - Who Wins the Job and Why" will be available for purchase.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

6:00 - 7:30 p.m.,speaking portion begins promptly at 6:15

at The Fashion Group International
8 West 40th Street, 7th Floor, NYC

wine and cheese networking reception

DO take full advantage of this interactive networking event.
There will be a special table set up for business cards and your
promotional materials, so be sure to bring yours.

cover charge for FGI members: $15.00

Non-Member Guest: $50.00 (can be applied toward membership sign-up fees)

New York Career Expo - RSVP ASAP!

New York Career Expo – September 23, 2010

Have Coffee with Tory

Register for the Early Morning Seminar

Is your job search stalled? Have you been thinking about starting your own business but aren’t sure what steps to take? Sign up now for Women For Hire CEO Tory Johnson’s popular early morning seminar. Good Morning America’s workplace contributor shares the latest job search trends – and talks about what you can do to become an entrepreneur.

Jump start your success by registering for this special session. Reserve your place now by clicking on your city.

To learn more about the event visit: http://womenforhire.com/career_expos/fall_2010/new_york/#planNY

Included in this free four-hour event

*Power Seminars: Top tips and tricks on acing a challenging job search
*Mentor Match: Candid advice from another professional in the trenches
*Perfect Pitch: Nail your quick intro to wow everyone you meet
*Resume Reviews: Instant feedback on this all-important document
*Engaging Employers: Access to the people who’ll get you in the door
*Exceptional Connections: Phenomenal talent to trade ideas and leads

RSVP: http://nyseminarsp2011.eventbrite.com

Event Recap & Note from the Founder: "FAB Dipped in GOLD"

EVENT RECAP - "FAB Dipped in GOLD" - LaPomme - August 17, 2010

From the Founder

The FAB Network celebrated its' ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY in style at the very sexy LaPomme in NYC with fashion, arts & beauty professionals in full effect. I was completely "Dipped in GOLD" thanks to the FABulous designer JOVANI. I am so humbled and ecstatic to share in this huge milestone in my personal and professional life with you. College students, industry professionals, FAB Ambassadors, panelists, keynote speaker and those individuals new to The FAB Network came out to show their support and for me, it was truly a blessing. As I've said before, I believe that FAB is a movement in young people's lives to take their dreams by the reigns and to plow forward regardless of any obstacles you may face. I believe it's our duty to reach our destiny and to create our future . . . what better way to reach our fullest potential than to be apart of a network that supports your goals! This focus alone, is the exact reason why I founded The FAB Network. The "FAB Dipped in Gold" event served as a playground for those individuals that are hungry for knowledge, resources & inspiration. I am happy to say that I believe the FAB mission was accomplished. I heard amazing feedback from the attendees and participants. Hearing those positive words make my efforts worthwhile. This past year has been filled with triumphs, struggles, life and business lessons. Through it all, my key take away is that no matter what, faith and perseverance will see you through! As the next chapter of FAB unfolds, it is my hope that you will continue this journey with me as a I strive to continue providing life-changing opportunities for YOU! Our road to greatness is an intertwined effort and together, we can achieve our FABulous dreams!

Highlights:

Activities Included ~ Complimentary Make-Up Applications provided by FSL Cosmetics
Live performance by recording artist Stefani Vara, Key Note Speech & Panel Discussion

Acknowledgment of FAB Ambassadors ~ Patrice Batson - InStyle, Renita Burns - Black Enterprise, Shayna D - Media Personality, Shantelle Guyton - Egami Consulting Group, Jennifer O'Brien - LaPrairie, Natalie Kitchin - Bloomingdales, Terry Rodriguez - L'Oreal USA, Tony Rodriguez - LIM College, LaToya Smith - Black Enterprise, Kiarra Smothers - MTV Networks/BET Networks

Key Note Speaker ~ Celebrity Hairstylist & Author Keith Campbell

Panelists ~ Laurel DeWitt (Founder & Designer, LaureLuxe Metal Couture & Jewelry), Hillary Flowers (Boutique Owner, Designer & Singer-Song Writer), Michelle Miller (Senior Chemist, L'Oreal R&I), Stephanie Tramontozzi (Independent Artist/Painter; Surface Designer, Variety Accessories, Textile Designer)

The event was filled with positive energy &learning! Thank you to everyone who participated!

Check out the FAB pics!

The Jane B. Show was on the scene to get some FAB footage

Celebrity Hairstylist & Author Keith Campbell served as Key Note Speaker

Getting the program started

The FABulous Welcome

Keynote Speaker Keith Campbell talks about the importance of being "humble and acting as a servant"

Recording Artist Stefani Vara

Stefani Vara performs LIVE

Beautiful & Talented

Held at LaPomme

FAB Thinks THIS is Sexy

The Program

Emmy Nominated Entertainment Lifestyle TV Personality Kela Walker served as moderator

Panelist Hillary Flowers

Panelist Laurel DeWitt

Panelists talk Fashion, Arts & Beauty

The crowd listens intently

Learning is FAB!

The FAB Panel

Stefani Vara takes the stage again to set off the networking mixer

Thank you to iCandy Couture NYC for the FABulous cake!

Beautiful & Tasty. Period.

Cake cutting ceremony

ONE YEAR!!!!

Surrounded by Support

About to taste...

Almost there...

Heaven!

Talented Ladies.

Fun Times

FAB & Avenue Pink

We're FAB!

FAB Ambassador Jennifer O'Brien & Panelist Stephanie Tramontozzi

Keith Campbell answers questions from the press

Founder of Yagolicious Cosmetics, Yago Monique

Panelist Michelle Miller with L'Oreal colleague

FAB Ambassador Shantelle Guyton with Genevieve Santos

Making Connections

Fashionistas

Thank you for everything ladies!

FAB!

FAB Ambassador Shayna D & J. Styles

Keith Campbell and PR Rep, with friend

All Smiles

New FAB Members!!!

Coordinating Divas!

Makeup Artist Angelique Velez using FSL Cosmetics

Fun Times

Love your smiles!

Celeb Makeup Artist Raedawn J & Panelist Laurel DeWitt

Founder of FSL Cosmetics, Kimberly Riley (R)

Thank you for coming!

FAB Member & FAB Founder

FAB.

Keith Campbell with lovely ladies.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to making the evening such a memorable one!

***Visit www.TheFABNetwork.com to officially become a FAB Member!***


Additional Press:

Coming Soon -
Creme Magazine
VAINSTYLE: The Book
XI Magazine

The Obsessionista:
http://www.obsessivelycompulsed.com/2010/08/absolutely-fab-fab-networks-fab-dipped.html

Raedawn J's OrGLAMic Beauty Blog
http://raedawnj.wordpress.com/2010/08/18/one-fab-evening/