If you LIKE to READ, this one's for YOU!

Sometimes we are often extremely busy in our own lives to take out the time to read. We just skim the article and only read the title. Instant gratification has become a way of life (for many). I refuse to believe that thoughtful and critical reading/thinking has disappeared. So, this article is dedicated to my readers who are simply engaged by the words, not by the images! Writing for me is therapy; I use the FAB website as an expressive way for me to reach my audience and be a voice to others. Don't judge, just listen. Here goes. My journey so far... I am on an exploration to finding out who I am completely, what I want, what I need, and discovering the road to my ultimate destiny. I am often lost as to how I accomplish such abstract goals. How do I find the answers, when the road is seemingly gray yet my vision is preset to black and white. What if you think you know the answer, then your heart does a complete 360 degree turn and now you're really lost? If that's you, then we have something in common. No one told me that after graduating college, I would be forced to actually analyze what I wanted, unlike school there is no curriculum life guide to choose from. I was thrown into the lions' ring with little protection, I had to come up with a game plan quickly. I did. Didn't seem to work. I called. Applied. Followed-up. Interviewed. Still nothing. Finally, persistence paid off. I got a job! I took the road less traveled (as I often do) and moved 15 hours away to pursue my career aspirations. I knew the road ahead would be difficult, but had no idea what was in store. The worst 3 days of my life, hostel with strangers (no privacy and I am huge on privacy), 1st apartment with 10 flights of stairs (no elevator), finding friends (worthwhile), no furniture, homesick, challenging and frustrating job, careless boss, car issues, changed industries (2XS), and still trying to figure out if this is all worth it (and the list continues). Am I grateful that this happened to me? Yes! Am I happy about it? No. My challenges have become my strongest moments, I never gave up, I am still here fighting the great fight. Tears shed, many journal entries and phone calls to my family and friends later...I am still here. What I've learned is that some of the things that I thought I wanted, really aren't that important to me. However, it was critical for me to experience what I thought I wanted or else I would have always wondered, "what if" and I HATE what ifs. I hate regrets. I thought I wanted the big building with the conference tables and the briefcase and the important meetings. I had that and left. I thought I wanted to work in the beauty industry. I had that and left. I realized that the big building and the company name wasn't enough. I desired more. But had I not experienced those things, I would've always been wondering "what if"...that dream and those "what if" thoughts would not have died, they would have festered into a nightmare haunting me, telling me I took the easy route and I hate the easy route. Fast forward to now, I've realized that I still want the big building with the conference table and the briefcase and the important meetings, and I still love the beauty industry...but there's more to the story. More depth to my goals. I want to make a difference and impact some one's life. I want to leave a mark and to know that I serve a purpose greater than my own. That's a snap shot of the past. What's to come in my future? It is my goal to solidfy my goals, streamline them and hit the ground running. Meaning I am ready to go after them fully charged! I am also making a conscious effort to make this year memorable in every aspect - personally, spiritually, professionally, and every other corner that often gets left behind. I want to be a better me, period. All of this is to say, my challenges are not just for me but serve as testament to all those who are trying to make it in this cold world, to all my peers who need a word of encouragement. Take it from me, we can do it! My journey is the foundation of my desires to make a difference. My exploration continues, I hope you will join me...